Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Patience at the Moment of Wilful, Uncontrolled Anger

Can you recall a time when you went absolutely spare and came later to regret your actions entirely? You probably also had to pay some pretty big penance as some way of reconciling things back the way they were; yet, they never really return ‘as they were,’ do they? The word “regrettable” seems somehow rather understated and inadequate, even beside the point.

We all have conniptions where we feel scatty and chaotic, from a mental and emotional viewpoint, in the moment. Everything just goes awry and the slightest stimulus brings it on, strange as it seems afterwards from an in-the-moment perspective.

We know it took us a while to get to this point, yet we kept delaying our dealing with the issues. We bottled them up and then we spewed out our anger all over people, and people were burned from the caustic energy and raw, unbridled emotion. We certainly paved the way for some pretty heavy dealing over that interceding time!

Yet, there are other times when we miraculously hold things together, somehow. It can at times be rather bemusing how this occurs, yet we’re vindicated better in these events—perhaps even by a measure or so more than we deserve.

At these times, grace expatiates and embellishes the microsecond and it’s only afterward—seconds or a minute or two later—that we’re aware of that presence of mind and heart that allowed us sufficient patience (and trust) to persevere beyond our anger.

We can pat ourselves on the back.

We also then secure a space of time where we can more appropriately process our anger and proliferation of thought and bound-up emotion, achieving a better, more peace-filled “us” as a result.

There’s a world of people who need to hear this message. We can conquer our anger in the name of patient trust—enough to get us through to a more enjoyable moment of releasing all the pent up mordant spoil which otherwise threatens to destroy.

© S. J. Wickham, 2009.

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